The Bluer Blues

by davesp64

The color blue got so much bluer

Old things they just got newer

I never realized how good

A simple Twinkie tasted

The air was so much crisper

Those voices became a whisper

The world was such a better place

The first time I got wasted

It didn’t matter what went down

My frown it turned upside down

The hurts they all went away

I filled up all the holes

Why did they all say it’s so bad

When it stopped me from being sad

When it made me feel ten feet tall

When it made me feel whole

It wasn’t till the morning after

After all the jokes and laughter

I realized the price I’d pay

To feel that way again

And so I weighed the pros and cons

Of feeling great until the dawn

Then living with a splitting head

Til I was high again

And somehow it seemed worth the cost

Even after all was lost

I kept on chasing bluer blues

But they weren’t there to find

That first time was a distant goal

And I just dug a deeper hole

Not knowing that the bottom

Is where I’d lose my mind

But my mind wasn’t mine to lose

It belonged to pills and booze

I’d lost my will I’d lost my soul

I was good for nothing

And as the vultures circled round

This almost dead person they’d found

A voice inside my fevered brain

Said I had to do something

So I stumbled into a room

To find the ones who shared my gloom

But when I got there it seemed to me

i’d come to the wrong place

There was no lamenting there

They didn’t use but didn’t care

They thought I was a long lost friend

They were glad to see my face

They told stories of the past

I’d found my kindred souls at last

They talked about the way I felt 

And how they’d felt it too

They talked about things I had thought

About the fights that I had fought

About the being different

That made me feel less than you

Then they talked about a God

Which I thought was somewhat odd

Because there were no crosses

Stars of David crescent moons

And when they said that God could be

Whatever I wanted him to be

I thought that I had come upon

A bunch of raving loons

I’d learned about God as a kid

I knew the kind of things God did

I knew that God was someone who

I did not want to hang with

Because God was a vengeful guy

Who’d burn you if you told a lie

Who said you couldn’t think about

What adolescence comes with

But their God was a group of drunks

You know I never would have thunk

That it would be that easy

The right God for to find

And so I made up my own God

At first it was a fishing rod

They said it could be anything

I took them at their word

And as I listened more and more

I could see there was a door

To where I wanted to get to

The place bout which I’d heard

Behind that door was a higher power

Who helped me make it through the hours

When I felt I couldn’t cope

Without doing drugs or drinking

That power helped me to get by

It helped me to figure out just why

I needed to listen to those who knew

And change my way of thinking

So these days I no longer chase

The feeling I got when shit faced

I’m happy to be here and know

What’s going on around me

I’m happier than I’ve ever been

I’ve stopped looking out I’m looking in

At the things that matter most

I’m liking what I see